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Thinks-of-the-Week

Things to think about...and then think about again:

  • I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
  • Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
  • Half the people you know are below average.
  • 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
  • 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
  • A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  • If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
  • All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
  • The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
  • I almost had a psychic girlfriend.....but she left me before we met.
  • OK, so what's the speed of dark?
  • How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
  • If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
  • Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
  • When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  • Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
  • Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
  • I intend to live forever......so far, so good.
  • If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
  • Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
  • What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
  • My mechanic told me, "I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder."
  • Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
  • If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.