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A Set of Five Groaners

Question 1: What is the difference between a new penny and an old quarter?

Answer: 24 cents.

Question 2: Where can you buy a ruler that is 3 feet long?

Answer: At a yard sale.

Question 3: Why is the longest human nose on record only 11 inches long?

Answer: Otherwise it would be a foot.

Question 4: Why did the amoeba flunk the math test?

Answer: Because it multiplied by dividing.

Question 5: What makes arithmetic hard work?

Answer: All those numerals you have to carry.