Home > Humor of the Week Archive Detail

<< Prev 5/6/2012 Next >>

Seven Famous "Logical" Quotations That Hurt

Warning 1: The following quotations have nothing to do with mathematics, except that the people quoted were once mathematics students.

[1] Question posed to Miss USA candidates in 1994: "If you could live forever, would you and why?"
Answer from Miss Alabama: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."

[2] "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
Person: Brooke Shields, during interview to become spokesperson for federal antismoking campaign.

[3] "I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my bod."
Person: Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball player.

[4] "It's no exaggeration to say that the undecided could go one way or another."
Person: George Bush, U.S. President

[5] We don't necessarily discriminate. we simply exclude certain types of people."
Person: Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC Instructor

[6] "Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstance."
Person: Department of Social Service, Greenville, SC

[7] "If somebody has a bad heart, they can plug this jack in at night as they go to bed and it will monitor their heart throughout the night. And the next morning, when they wake up dead, there'll be a record."
Person: Mark Fowler, FCC Chairman