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English is a Crazy Language: Part 1

Though the following has little to do with mathematical humor, it is edifying to read. The items are forwarded via e-mail endlessly.

There is no egg in eggplant or ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

neither English muffins were invented in England nor French fries in France.

Boxing rings are square.

Why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham.

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese...so, one moose, 2 meese.

Is cheese the plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why don't preachers prought?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Noses run and feet smell.

Park on driveways and drive on parkways.

How can it be that when a house burns up, it burns down?

Sometimes you are overwhelmed, and other times you are underwhelmed...when are you ever just whelmed?

You fill in a form by filling it out...and an alarm clock goes off by going on.