Home > Humor of the Week Archive Detail

<< Prev 10/9/2005 Next >>

New Units of Measure

  • 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
  • Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile/hour: Knot-furlong
  • 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling
  • Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon
  • 1000 aches: 1 megahurtz
  • Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower
  • Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line
  • 453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
  • 1 million-million microphones: 1 megaphone
  • 1 million bicycles: 1 megacycle
  • 2000 mockingbirds: two kilomockingbirds
  • 10 cards: 1 decacards
  • 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton
  • 1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen
  • 1 trillion pins: 1 terapin
  • 10 rations: 1 decoration
  • 8 nickels: 2 paradigms
  • 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
  • 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
  • Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram
  • 1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche