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From Anon's Slightly-Forked Tongue

Leonard Louis Levinson published The Left-Handed Dictionary (1963), which was advertised to include "5,000 hip definitions that once tripped gaily off slightly forked tongues...." It included the following definitions, all attributed to Anon's tongue!

Circle: A line of no depth running around a dot forever.

Circle: A round straight line with a hole in the middle.

Courage: Ignorance of the facts.

Dilute: To take away by adding.

Numerals: Symbols used in a form of lying called statistics.

Slide Rule: An instrument for extending guesswork to the third decimal place.

Statistician: A person who draws a mathematically precise line from an unwarranted assumption to a foregone conclusion.

Theorem: Derived from “theos,” a god, and “rtes,” a thing—is a problem needing Divine intelligence.

Triangle: A circle with three corners in it.