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Some Oldies Have Been Found!

When I started teaching middle school mathematics 44 years ago, I collected math humor that might spice up my classes, writing the jokes on index cards. Recently, I found the pile of cards...and share some of them below....


A professor who had taught for many years was counseling a young teacher. "You will discover," he said, "that in nearly every class, there will be a youngster eager to argue. Your first impulse willbe to silence him, but I advise you to think carefully before doing so. he probably is the only one listening."


Teacher: How much is one and a half dozen?
Student: 7.


A 15-year-old discussing her report card: "No wonder Jean always gets an A in French...Her mother and father speak French at the table."

"If that's the case," her boyfriend said. "I ought to get an A in geometry, as my parents talk in circles."


Student: I am not an under-achiever. My teacher is an over-expecter.


A wise teacher sent this note home at the start of the term: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home."


The doctor explained to Higgins (a math teacher) that he had a serious ailment for which an operation was absolutely imperative. "Yes," the doctor replied. "Five out of six who undergo this operation die, but as for you, you have nothing to worry about."

"Why not?" eagerly inquired the patient.

"Well, you see, you're a cinch to recover because my last five patients died," the doctor reassured him.