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And Even More of the Oldies That Have Been Found!

Continuing from last week: When I started teaching middle school mathematics 44 years ago, I collected math humor that might spice up my classes, writing the jokes on index cards. Recently, I found the pile of cards...and share some more of them below....

Announcing a Metric Football Game: "First and 9.144, on the 27.432 meter line. Pass...He's at the 13.716, at the 4.573, Touchdown! He's the 1.8288 meter, 82.6480 kilogram end, and he has done it again!

The Clearing House proposal guaranteed to make every American student master fractions within six weeks: Revise basketball rules so that a field goal counted 2 7/8 and a free throw 1 1/5!

A small boy was asked by his teacher: "What is the size of Congress?

"About 5 feet 2 inches," he promptly replied.

"Idiot!" exploded the teacher. "I mean how many members does it have? Also, how did you get 5 feet 2 inches?"

"Well," replied the boy, "My father is 6 feet tall and every night he puts his hand to his chin and says 'He has had Congress up to here!'"

There was a motion to fire the principal when it came out that half the kids in school had test scores below the school average.

Note: How should this joke perhaps be reworded to ensure clarity?